Songs And Season
I am a certified bubblegum pop fanatic. And when all those boybands and girlbands came out in the 90’s, I was one of those that went gaga over their videos on MTV and songs in the airwaves. I now look back with fondness as I recall the feelings I felt whenever I listened to their songs back in high school. A few months ago, I was playing my 98 Degrees And Rising audio tape and decided to transfer the songs onto a CD, so I could play it with more ease. I was planning on buying their CD (among others), but I am pretty sure the US version is different from my Asia/Europe version which I bought for myself in 2000 while on vacation with my cousins in Bicol. I wasn’t really a BIG fan of theirs, but I did like their musc. When I heard it again today, memories from high school lingered in my mind. Whenenver I hear the song Because of You, I remember one of my best friends, Kathy. I can still hear her telling me "You’re my sunshine after the rain, you’re the cure against my fear and my pain" after I had asked her how the first verse went.
Also back in Cebu, we sometimes heard mass at SM. Yes, if you are completely oblivious to this fact, most malls in the Philippines have Sunday morning masses. I especially remember one homily where the priest (I remember him well because of his clear voice and superb grammar and diction) quoted 98 Degrees’ "The Hardest Thing" and made a connection to our relationship with God. I don’t exactly know why that stuck with me. Probably because it was a pop culture thing and I was totally feeling that song during that time. I still do after all this time. I still fight to keep myself from crying. I think its message is sad.
I have always been the first person to say "Fight for the one you love" and "If you love someone, there is just no sense in letting them go." The Hardest Thing just breaks my heart because he wants to just let her go because he claims that she deserves someone better.
The Hardest Thing
98 Degrees
We both know that I shouldn’t be here
This is wrong
And baby it’s killing me, it’s killing you
But both of us trying to be strong
I’ve got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusted me fast asleep
There seems to be an affair brewing, but I don’t know if he wants to leave because the relationship they have is forbidden
I’ve made up my mind
There is no turning back
She’s been good to me
And she deserves better than that
If she’s been good to you then why do you want to say good-bye to her? Stop confusing me.
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you i don’t love you
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can’t let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my heart’s not free
We’re not meant to be
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away pretending i don’t love you
I definitely agree. It is hard to lie to someone you love, especially if you’ve been with that person for a while. That person may already know the way you act when you’re hiding things as such. But when you love someone that much, I cannot grasp the concept of bidding that person "Farewell, may you have a great life." It baffles me mad. I can just imagine that verse in a scene of a movie, with the guy telling her he doesn’t care for her anymore and that they should just part ways, and then she just loses it and bawls like a baby while he just stands there fighting off the urge to envelope her in a secure hug. It makes me wanna cry =*(
I know we’ll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I’ve got to be cruel to be kind
Like Doctor Zhivago
All my love I’ll be sending
And you will never know
‘Cause there can be no happy ending
This is what I hate most about quotes and songs and poems and movies that hold the same message. If you know you’ll meet again, why were you saying you weren’t meant to be just a few breaths back? If fate indeed has its way of making lovers meet after a long absence, then you’re saying you’re meant to be together after all.
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do
To look you in the eye, and tell you i don’t love you
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can’t let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my hearts not free
We’re not meant to be
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do (isn’t it?)
To turn around and walk away pretending i don’t love you
Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can’t stay
I’ve made up my mind
There’s no turning back
She’s been good to be
And she deserves better than that
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do
To look you in the eye, and tell you i don’t love you
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can’t let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied and my hearts not free
We’re not meant to be, oh no
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away pretending i don’t love you
What can I do, oohh, oooh
***
I am definitely not bitter and I am in no way trying to offend those people who let go of people they love and "went on with their lives" hoping that if their paths crossed in the future they’d get back together. I guess I’m just saying this right now because that’s my frame of thinking right now. I have never believed in the concept of "cooling off". There is no such thing. It’s either you stay together or break up, that’s just it. Will my idea change? Maybe. Maybe not. I can never tell. The bottomline is that I believe that you can’t just tell the one you love (who loves you just as much) to live his/her life without you because the two of you just aren’t meant to be. What makes you not worthy of each other anyway? If you both found things to talk about, if you’ve managed to stay together for quite some time, if you’ve found each other despite the billions of people in the world, then what makes it impossible to share eternity with each other? If it’s love, then it shall conquer all. Am I naive? Maybe, I don’t know. But who cares, as long as I’m happy. haha. I am so weird.
Another boyband I liked in the 90’s (ok, ok, I still like them today and wonder where they are) was Westlife. They have a song that seems to have a message similar to that of "The Hardest Thing" called If "I Let You Go".
If I Let You Go
Westlife
Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can’t get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can’t find
The courage to show to letting you know
I’ve never felt so much love before
And once again I’m thinking about
Taking the easy way out
I smell the fear of commitment along those lines. haha
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
If I let you go?
See, exactly what I was saying awhile ago. Ok, so maybe not quite, but if you let that person who means the world to you slip beyond your grasp, how will you know how wonderful your future will be?
Night after night I hear myself say
Why can’t this feeling just fade away
There’s no one like you
You speak to my heart
It’s such a shame
we’re worlds apart
I’m too shy to ask, I’m too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
You’re worlds apart? Literally or figuratively speaking? Either way, not a reason (in my opinion, at least) to let someone say bye-bye-bye.
And once again I’m thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
If I let you go?
And once again I’m thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
If I let you go?
***
I just love these songs, or any nice song for that matter (no matter how incomprehensible they may seem to me. haha). I enjoy listening to them and then picking them apart. haha. Ok, so maybe not every song. Only those that strike a chord or hit close to home. I guess that’s why my list of favorite songs lengthens each season. And the elderly say our generation no longer has meaningful songs. They say gone are the days of meaningful lyrics and bouncy beats. Boy, are they so wrong. There are still those songs that touch the heart and inspire people to live meaningful lives. What’s your song?
from the violetpearl chronicles 2005
